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Guide To Picking Up Women: The Indirect Approach

Every man who has written a guide to picking up women has a strong opinion when it comes to which approach leads to greater seduction success: direct game or indirect game. 

Wondering which approach is right for you?

Indirect game is characterized by its subtle, “under the radar” approach.  Commonly used indirect techniques include: neutral opinion openers, storytelling, bantering, and body language that indicates indifference.  Some advantages to the indirect method are: 

Interest is not conveyed right away, making it less likely that you will appear needy or outcome-dependent.
It’s perfect in venues in which you need to communicate disinterest, like bars and nightclubs, because women are expecting to be approached.
Women must demonstrate value and qualify themselves to you before you will show obvious interest in them, leading to role reversal situations in which they begin to chase you.
You have a great deal of flexibility when determining the outcome of an encounter in which you use indirect game.  If things are headed in a romantic or sexual direction, you can transition to a more direct approach and continue the interaction.  And if, after spending some time with a woman, you are more interested in just being friends with her, using indirect game means you have not created an awkward sexual situation and can then use her as social proof or a wingwoman.

If that sounds too good to be true, it’s because it partially is.  Yes, the indirect approach does have all of those advantages, but it can have a few disadvantages as well: 

If you’re too nonchalant, your targets might be turned off by your apparent lack of interest in them.  Women will not work for your attention if they think they will never be worthy of it.
Acting in an indirect manner can make it more difficult to communicate that you are a dominant, alpha male.
You run the risk of being perceived as insincere, if your actions and words are not congruent (for example, if your speech does not indicate interest but your body language does).

Before deciding which approach is right for you, check out the next guide – “Guide to Picking Up Women: Part II -  The Direct Approach” – for an introduction to direct game.